Vayeitzei: Holiness in the Mundane

Three weeks ago, we started a new custom that will hopefully last during the winter months. We told the kids that if, after Shabbos ends, they help clean up and do it quickly, then they can participate in a Malave Malka (a meal held after Shabbos in honor of the departure of Shabbos). Now, we can’t actually have a meal. Our stomachs are not up for it, and my wife and I need to start work. However, we do something special. I sit down with the kids at the table, and sing special songs for after Shabbos, and my wife makes everybody “smoothies.” We have a few cookies each as well, but the important part is, everybody is together, bringing out Shabbos properly.

Just last week, I started a similar approach to Shabbos night. We hold off on the singing until the end of the meal, and make the meal a little quicker. Afterwards, we clear the table and have dessert with a special drink and popcorn, along with the singing.

So far it’s working out very well.

It’s important that each family finds a way of keeping the kids involved in the Shabbos table, without having to force it on them.

Okay, on to Torah!

“So says Hashem, who redeemed Avraham, to the House of Yaakov” (Isaiah 29:22)

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 19b) explains that it was Yaakov who redeemed Avraham. Rebbe Yehudah explained that he redeemed Avraham by freeing him from the burden of bringing up a big family. While Avraham had two children, Yaakov had twelve (along with four wives). With more “free” time, Avraham was able to travel and spread the concept of Hashem in the world.

Yaakov, on the other hand, we see was very involved, for 20 years, in raising a family and earning a livelihood. In fact, in this week’s parsha ,we see very little spirituality that Yaakov was engaged in. However, Rav Avigdor Miller explains, if we look a little more closely, we will see something interesting.

Yaakov encountered angels on three occasions. The first (28:12), Yaakov saw them in a dream. Twenty years later, he actually saw them (32:2), and in next week’s parsha, Yaakov has physical contact with one. So, obviously, during this time, Yaakov’s spiritual level increased dramatically.

During the twenty years Yaakov lived with the swindler Lavan, he raised a family from scratch, and worked hard raising Lavan’s and later his own, herds. Unlike Avraham, who acquired his riches through gifts (and I think he had some from his family), and unlike Yitzchok who inherited everything from Avraham, Yaakov started out with literally nothing. As he testified to Lavan, he was scorched by the sun, he was bitten by the frost, and he did not close his eyes to sleep (31:40). He was VERY involved in physical pursuits. But despite that, and despite the energy it took for him to raise such a family, he continued to thrive spiritually.

Each individual is given his tailor-made difficulties in life. But each of those difficulties was not made to keep him down, but rather to challenge him and push him to grow.

We also learn that spiritual growth does not happen in just the beis medresh. It happens in every aspect in life. I recently saw Rav Pincus write that when a kollel member has to take off time to take his sick child to the doctor, he might mistakenly think that he is wasting his time from growth to do something he needs to do (take care of his child). But, the truth is just the opposite. True, he is not in the kollel as he usually is, but at this moment he is “partnering up” with Hashem in taking care of his sick child. Similarly, when a person goes out to work, it’s not a matter of “taking off time” from being holy. It’s the opposite! He is (hopefully) BEING holy, by partnering up with Hashem in providing income to his family!

Every aspect of our lives, even the tougher times, are an opportunity for us to make a partnership with Hashem, and spiritualize the physical world.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner