Shemos

I have to thank a good friend of mine.  My anniversary falls out after this Shabbos, and I always remember the speech he gave the Shabbos before.  He quoted the first few lines of the parsha, "And a new King arose in Egypt," hinting toward my new future with my wife.  Since then, I have never forgotten my anniversary.  Perhaps I didn't try to do anything special for it, but at least I never forgot it.

Then Moshe returned to Hashem and said, “My L-rd, why did You bring harm upon this people? Why did You send me? Ever since I came to Pharaoh to speak in Your name, he has dealt worse with this people; and still You have not delivered Your people.” Then Hashem said to Moshe, “You shall soon see what I will do to Pharaoh: he shall let them go because of a greater might; indeed, because of a greater might he shall drive them from his land” (Shemos 5:22-6:1).

Rav Shimshon Pinkus notes that Hashem's response does not seem to answer Moshe's question.  Moshe asks, "Why are you doing this to the Jewish people?  Why are you only increasing the pressure that is already upon them?" And Hashem answers, "You'll see what I'll do to Pharaoh!  It'll be so bad, he'll chase you out!"

How does that answer Moshe's question, "Why are you increasing the pressure on the Jewish people"? You would think He would answer, "Don't worry, I'm doing it because of this or that…," but we simply don't see that.

Rav Pincus answers that when a person decides to come closer to Hashem, Hashem sends him tests.  Is he coming toward Me because he wants a relationship with Me? Or is he doing so, because he thinks that I am nothing but a cash machine: Put in a few mitzvos, get a few rewards in this world?  We see this often in our lives, when we are on the spiritual ascent, there seems to be a super-strong push to bring us down.  If we give up, it's a sign that we wanted this "closeness" only because we wanted something tangible from the relationship (money, health, success, etc.).  And if we succeed, it's a sign that our intention was pure, and for that, our "request" to have a closer relationship will be granted.

This is what Hashem was responding to Moshe.  He was saying, "Don't worry.  The nation passed the test.  Even when the burden was increased, they did not abandon their desire to be with Me.  And for that, they will be rescued from Pharoah and be brought close to Me."

So, now we have a better understanding on why we get hit every time we want to move up.  It tests us, for our own sake, to understand our underlying motives.  If we truly desire a closer relationship with Hashem, we will strengthen ourselves a bit more, and will be granted that special "Heavenly Help" to ascend higher.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

One night this week I had to go to Bnei Brak for a meeting.  Just over five hours of travel for an hour-and-a-half meeting.  At least I got home at 11:30 p.m.  Somebody else I know just missed the direct bus home, and ended up getting home at 1:30 a.m. That's what happens when you live "out there somewhere."

I personally don't enjoy such trips, and I don't enjoy so much going to the city.  However, I had the opportunity to sit on the train and listen to my favorite "heart surgeon," Rav Shlomo Brevda.  I don't have too many opportunities to listen to him, so I used the travel time wisely.

Unfortunately, I cannot cover his hour-and-a-half talk, since he hit on so many important points.

So, I'll touch on one.

He made a very interesting point about this week's parsha.  We see that the small Jewish nation began to grow in Egypt and expanded beyond belief.  At first, they lived well, but very quickly, they were put in heavy slavery for hundreds of years.  He pointed out, "If it were me, I would have been broken within a few days," yet somehow, even after several hundred years, the Jewish people were able to maintain their faith in Hashem.  What was the secret behind such a success?

It was Yaakov who led his family down to Egypt, and it was through Yaakov's education and direction that his family was able to build a society.  And what do we know of Yaakov?  Well, he was ordered to steal the brachos from Eisav, his brother wanted to kill him, he had to live and survive Lavan for many years, he had four wives (which I can't imagine was easy), he had to fight Eisav's "angel," he had to deal with Eisav's suddenly wanting "to be friends," there was the episode with Dina, the selling of Yosef, and he sometimes came to odds with some of his children.  Simply put, Yaakov did not live the easy life.  In fact, he admits to this when he met Pharaoh.

"No rest for the weary" would be appropriate for him.  Yet, he received a promise from Hashem in the beginning of his travails, that He would be with Yaakov throughout.

And that, says, Rav Brevda, was the secret.

A person's journey through life is not about taking things easy.  Like soldiers on the front line, we are always to be on the watch for the enemy.  No matter how stressful life is, one has his obligations to his Commander.  And each "stress point" is the enemy attacking him, trying to break him.

When Jews first started coming to America, he said, they were not prepared at all for what was awaiting them.  The assimilation rate was horrific.  After a time, things were straightened out.  Torah communities were built, Jewish "infrastructure" was developed, education systems were designed.  Hard work and sacrifice was invested by many individuals to make the Jewish nation thrive in the United States.  And that is why only the Torah community is growing, while those groups that have chosen not to fight for their souls, if you will, are in a severe decline.

A person, and a community, needs to train themselves to know that life is not easy.  Each individual, each family, and each community, has their spiritual battles to fight.  If a person knows this from the beginning and understands what and where his enemy is, he will have an easier time weathering the fight.  But, if he is unprepared, unwilling, and/or has "bad intelligence" on his enemy, he will end up fighting a losing battle.

The Jewish nation was able to survive, because they grew from Yaakov.  They knew what hard, constant work was, even before the slavery.  And they also understood who the Egyptians were, and why they needed to remain as separate as possible.  So, when they were finally thrown into the life of slaves, they knew what they needed to do to keep themselves intact.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

Yesterday, I told my kids in the morning that they probably will not be having friends, since we have a lot of clean up to do.

When a friend called my six year old later in the afternoon, I really wasn't sure what my wife wanted, so I told him to ask her.  She allowed it, so I took him.

On the way, he said, "We just learned that one of Chava's (Eve's) punishments is that Adam will have power over her… ", as he smiled and continued, "… but in OUR house, it's the opposite!"

It's hard to argue with that.  I guess that's proof that the first man and woman weren't Ashkanazim…

The Baal Shem Tov taught that the Egyptian exile, which begins in this week's parsha, was primarily spiritual in nature, which is certainly not how we think of it today.  He explains that the Jewish nation was so enslaved by the Egyptian consciousness, they had no ability to recognize Hashem's hand in their lives.  Their day-to-day existence was physical in nature without any spirituality.

This lack of awareness is the root cause of exile, as it's written "My people are exiled without awareness" (Yehayahu 5:13).  That is why, in the end, the exile was ended "with a bang".  It was Hashem in "full-force", where even Pharoah himself had to acknowledge that Hashem was running the world.

So too, says Rebbe Nachmun, each person has their own exile that they go through on a daily basis.  We become so engrossed in the physical world and our Yetzer Horah works to push any thoughts of Hashem out of our lives, every day we sink deeper and deeper into exile.

That is why so many of our mitzvos, throughout the week, remind us of the redemption from Egypt, whether in Tefillin, Kiddush, Shema, Mezuzah, etc… By constantly reminding ourselves that Hashem is ALWAYS there and everything that happens in our lives are from Hashem Himself, we slowly pull ourselves out of this personal exile.

Over the past month or so, for example, we've been embroiled with a certain organization that stole some money that was given to use to help one of our children.  I knew the money was lost, but I really wanted to see them stopped from doing so again.  However, they have "protexia" (Hebrew, obviously, for "protection") and there is nothing we can do.  I was really bothered by this and very hard to swallow.  Not that they are getting away with it, without punishment… that will come in time.  I couldn't put my finger on why it bothered me so much.  Then I realized, my problem lies in one of my favourite scenes in Star Trek II.  Yeah, believe it or not.

In the movie, there's a famous test, The Kobiyashi Maru.  It's a no-win test that cadets have to take to see how well they handle failure.  Basically, they're in command of a starship and receive a distress call from a disabled ship called the Kobiyashi Maru.  It's life-support is failing and the ship itself has drifted into the Neutral Zone.  If they go in to save it, the Klingons will have an excuse to go in and attack.  If they don't, 600 people will die.

Of course, only one cadet ever beat the test: James Kirk.  How?  Simple!  He reprogrammed the simulator.  When telling this story to one of his officers, they replied, "You cheated!"  And he replied, "I changed the conditions of the test… I don't believe in a no-win situation"

I think that got into my system a little too much.

There are times when bad things happen to us.  It's easier when it's not from a person.  When it's a person causing the pain, it's much harder to see Hashem.  We want revenge.  We want to stop them.  We want to stop them from hurting others.  And there are times when we are obligated to try to stop them.  I went to a rav about this and he told us that we needed to continue.  But, throughout the whole time, I had this seed in my head, "I don't like to lose", "If I only could change the conditions of the test".

But we can't think like that.  At a certain point, we need to realize, we cannot change any conditions.  This is how things are.  You are going to lose and suffer.

So what attitude DO we need?  Simple.  It came from Hashem.

What they do is what they do.  What will be with them is no longer our concern.  The fact that Hashem put them into our lives at that exact moment to do that exact thing is what concerns us.  They are merely instruments of Hashem, who have chosen their own path.  Sometimes Hashem does give us a Kobiyashi Maru, and no matter what, we're not going to win, because we're not supposed to.  However, the real test is, how do we handle it.

By constantly reminding ourselves that Hashem puts us in situations and takes out our of situations, we can pass such tests.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

As my kids get older, or maybe it’s my getting older, I keep thinking how modern feminists are more and more wrong.

Our four-year-old goes to a pre-school with thirty-five other boys his age.  Somehow, the teachers have them all in tow.  On more than several occasions, when I’ve gone to pick him up, he and all his friends that are leaving are yelling insults at each other.  One day it’s “You’re stupid!”  “No, YOU’RE stupid!” “No, YOU’RE STUPID!!”  Another day it’s “You’re fat!”  “No, YOU’RE fat!” “No, YOU’RE FAT!”  Recently, they were threatening to kill each other.  But, each time it’s done with a smile and a laugh.

I don’t remember this EVER happening with my girls and we all know what happens when they call each other names. 

The same thing happened last Shabbos night.  After the meal, my wife and I were sitting on the couch.  The three boys were in a ball on the floor, beating each other up, and the two girls were sharing a blanket on the other couch, singing and laughing.

All was good!

That’s because boys aren’t “conditioned” to be boys and girls aren’t “conditioned” to be girls.  It’s simple, we were all born this way.   And the more people understand this, the more they can appreciate the differences in the genders, and for many, perhaps their relationships with their spouses can begin to improve.

It’s always nice to see something in your regular learning schedule that’s connected with the parsha.  The Gemara (Yoma 19b) relates that the day before Yom Kippur, the Kohen Gadol would be forced to take an oath to not deviate one iota in the Yom Kippur service from what he was taught from the Sanhedrin.  After the oath was administered, both he and the members of the Sanhedrin that administered the oath, would turn away and cry.  He would cry because there was even a slight suspicion that he was a Sadducee and they would cry because all who are suspicious of people who are “kosher” are afflicted.

Rashi adds as proof a pasuk from this week’s parsha.  When Moshe was commanded by Hashem to return to Egypt in order to bring the Jewish people out, one of the arguments he used against going was “But they won’t believe me!”  Hashem then told him to place his hand in his robe and take it back out.  When he did so, his entire hand was covered in Tzaraas, which was a common heavenly punishment for loshon horah.

The Gemara uses the term choshesh, which is commonly translated as "suspicious."  If I’m correct, we are talking of being suspect, not of actually accusing anybody.  If I’m right, then we are talking about having real thoughts, and not just actions, which could lead to such a punishment.

From here we see the dangers of being suspicious of those that are not deserving of suspicion.    And in today’s world where information, both true and false, is flying around, one must always keep this lesson in mind.  When we hear juicy gossip against people who are generally above reproach, it is always best to close one’s ears and do his best not to even suspect such a thing could be true (until proven).  Because the lesson from this Gemara seems to be focused not on the loshon horah aspect, but of the step before the loshon horah, the suspicion harbored in one’s heart.

Have a great Shabbos!

I received a call from my rav this morning.  We usually call each other on non-Jewish holidays to wish a “Good Yom Tov.”  I was a bit surprised, since January 5^th, was not on my calendar as anything special.  It turns out it was his birthday and he was collecting birthday wishes.

Figures.

He also wanted to tell me over something that would make me appreciate being in kollel in Israel.  He has a student living in the States whose wife teaches in a public school.  It turns out half of the children come from same-sex marriages, and one particular child is a different gender every day, depending on her mood.

Did you know that my children don’t know what “an Obama” is?

I’m thankful that I’m raising my children in a “backwards, Ultra-Orthodox” world.  At least they know what gender they are.

Okay, on to Torah!

“For I am heavy of mouth and heavy of speech” (Shemos 4:10).

The Rambam explains that Hashem did not heal Moshe’s speech impediment simply because Moshe never asked Him to do so!  Quite an amazing statement regarding prayer.

How important is prayer?  Rav Shimshon Pincus said that we know the merit of learning Torah is greater than all other merits.  However, when a kollel is informed that somebody is very sick, they will stop their learning for a few minutes, and say Tehillim and daven on their behalf.  If the merit of Torah is so great, asks Rav Pincus, why do they stop learning?  Perhaps they need to continue learning in the merit of the sick person!  He answers that it is obvious, if a person falls unconscious in the kollel, the members are certainly not allowed to continue to daven.  They need to stop, call an ambulance, and help the person until he is stabilized.  We do not rely on miracles, but rather, we do what we can.  He continues and says that davening IS part of that hishtadlus!  It’s part of “doing what we can.”  While one person is calling the ambulance, and a few people are helping the person, the others should be davening, because tefillah is no different than making the call or helping the person.

Doing mitzvos in merit of somebody is helping them Above.  Tefillah is helping them in this world.

This past week, my wife was listening to a talk given by a certain rebbetzin who was close to Rav Volbe, who always told her to teach the importance of tefillah, which unfortunately is lacking today.  When she was teaching very young kids, she asked them what is the proper thing to do when a person is not well.  One child said to call an ambulance.  This makes sense, she thought, since his parents are always quick to panic.  Another one said to take their temperature and medicine.  This one also makes sense; his parents put a lot of stock into medicine and science.  One child piped up and said, “Daven!”  This too makes sense, she thought, since that is how that home operates.  First thing: Daven!

When we find ourselves in situations (or even when we are not), davening should always be our first reaction.  Opening a water valve is great if you want water.  But first, you need to be connected to the water system.  Take out just a little time to ask Hashem for help, and you’ll immediately be connected.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My wife’s a tough chick.

One of the tricks many Arabs like to play when they need to go to an appointment, is they just show up, cut in line, say that DO have an appointment, and push their way in.  A few weeks ago, my wife had an appointment with a specialist.  She got the first appointment in the morning, at 8:30 a.m.  When she arrived at the office, she saw five Arab men sitting there.  Knowing exactly what was going to happen, especially since the specialist was an Arab and she had no relationship with him, she said to all of them, “When are your appointments!?!”  At first, they pretended not to speak any Hebrew, so she pushed them “WHEN are you appointments!?!?” Finally, one answered “8:00 a.m.”  This was at 8:25 a.m. and the doctor had not yet opened his door.  “Nonsense,” she replied, “since my appointment is the first and it’s in 5 minutes.”

Suddenly, the doctor opened the door, and they all made a rush to him.  He demanded to see everybody’s appointment slip from the machine (which you are supposed to get when you walk in).  They ran to the machine (or to leave), and my wife, who knew the machine was broken, since she had tried to use it, went up to the doctor, told him that she had an appointment, and that was that.

Not bad.

“The midwives said to Pharaoh, ‘Because the Hebrew women are unlike the Egyptian women, for they are midwives (or ‘beasts’); before the midwife comes to them, they have given birth’” (Shemos 1:19)

The wife of a good friend of mine is automatically considered "high-risk" by doctors every time she is pregnant.  Thankfully, they have a growing family and everything has gone well.  During the last pregnancy, my friend was speaking to a specialist concerning his wife’s situation and future pregnancies.  The doctor, who was completely irreligious responded, “I don’t know what to tell you.  Ultra-Orthodox women are beyond the statistics and are able to do things others cannot.”

When Hashem desires the Jewish population to grow, it will grow.  When He desires it to shrink, it will shrink.  Whatever people think or do, Hashem has ways, some natural and some not-so-natural to accomplish his goals.

I remember years ago reading a piece in Ha'aretz praising a group of non-religious Israelis who had set up branches in all cities.  Their goal is simple: Keep the religious out.  For example, when a religious school was petitioning to get a building instead of the caravans they were using, they had no problem admitting they went out and did whatever they could to stop it.  They protested, they tried to get signatures, they spray-painted the school’s buildings, etc. The religious population in that city was very small, but the open goal of that group was to squash it.  Oh yeah, did I mention Ha'aretz was PRAISING this group?

Same thing happened where I live.  When a yeshiva was going to open up, around 10 people from this branch did whatever possible to stop it.  It even went to court, where they gave a multimedia presentation on what will happen to the entire community if the yeshiva was allowed to open up and more Ultra-Orthodox moved in.  The judge threw the case out, and the head of the group, who was in the process of selling his apartment, sold it to an Arab (because he’s soooo concerned about the community).

While in some geographical locations, such as the U.S., the Jewish population is probably dwindling (thanks to false conversions and intermarriage, a good percentage of Jews are not really Jewish), here in Eretz Yisroel, the religious community is growing.  Between the high birth rate and a growing amount of baalei tshuvah, there is a stronger and stronger religious presence.  Ben Gurion did not feel a need to declare war on the religious community.  He felt that it would disappear within two generations.  Well . . . Hashem had other plans.

Michael Winner

I’ve always read and heard from various sources the importance of keeping non-Torah things out of one’s life. It’s not easy when you come from my background. My wife and I often trade “one-liners” from old movies or television shows, and things from the past always seem to pop up.

However, our house is generally run differently than my brain. My life consists of kollel, family, and work. That’s it. We don’t have any interest in sports or culture. They children aren’t allowed near the computer for any reason. They go to their schools, where their main focus is Torah, building things with wood found on the street, “Hello Kitty”, and other such things. Thankfully, my kids are a bit “purer” than their parents.

Just the other day, my ten year-old daughter was holding and playing with the baby. He was busy trying to grab her face, and she was laughing and trying not to be grabbed. Every time he grabbed something, she would laugh, and quote a line from Tehillim. When he grabbed her eyes, she said, “they (idols) have eyes, but they don’t see”. When he grabbed her mouth, “they have mouths, but they don’t speak”.

There’s something very nice seeing your children playing in this manner…

Okay, on to Torah!
“And he said, ‘Do not come any closer; take off your shoes from your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground’” (Shemos 3:5)

“’Yehudah has gone into exile’ (Eicha 1:3). Do not non-Jewish nations go into exile? The fact is, however, that through they go into exile, it is not really exile. The non-Jewish nations who travel in their groups do not experience real exile; but Yisroel who walk barefooted do experience exile…” (Midrash, Eicha Rabbah 1:29)

So what’s special about being barefooted? When Moshe goes to a holy place, he needs to go barefooted. When the Jewish people go into exile, they go barefooted.

Rav Mordechai Rogov explains that shoes protect a person in order that he does not stumble around and hurt himself. When a person is not wearing shoes, he’s very wary and very careful when he walks so he doesn’t hurt himself.

When other nations go into exile, that period of exile is very short. Within time, that group assimilates into the host nation and becomes one with it. The Jewish nation on the other hand, does not share that same fate. Throughout the 2000 year exile, we have been pushed out of one country after another. Even in America, anti-Semitism is becoming more and more rampant on university campuses. In Europe, many don’t wear kippas on public… and not just out of fear from the local Arabs… Wherever we go in exile, we tread carefully, not knowing what will happen to us around the corner.

Also, we learn a lesson on how we should behave, spiritually, in exile. We should be walking carefully in a spiritual sense as well. The intermarriage rate in the United States is at least in the 75% range within the non-religious world, and even the religious world is not immune to the effects of the secular world. In this regard as well, we need to tread carefully, making sure that decisions we make in life have only a positive effect on our spiritual selves.

This also would explain why Moshe had to walk barefoot and why the Kohanim in the Beis HaMikdash had to walk barefoot. These places contained such kedusha, such holiness, that it was important that every step taken was carefully thought of. Any misstep could result in some damage.

To take that point a bit further, as one becomes holier himself, he needs to be more careful and more attuned to what is dangerous for him. Perhaps something, years ago, might not have been so dangerous, could be dangerous now, after he has refined his soul.

We are a “barefooted” nation. We need to tread carefully in terms of our relationship with our host countries, and we need to tread carefully in our road to kedusha. We all know the famous line, “Fools rush in where angels dare to tread”. It’s quite fitting here to use. Move forward in life, never stop, but always be careful each step you take.

Have a great Shabbos!

I have become more and more of a proponent of polygamy.

My mother-in-law has come for her once-a-year visit. Unfortunately, it lasts only a week. However, one of the upsides is that she becomes a husband to my wife and a father to my children. I no longer exist in the house.

What a great thing!

Not only that, but since she’s an extra hand with the kids or with cooking, my wife’s productivity has increased tremendously. Usually, for dinner, my wife gives me two choices, “Fridge Grime” or “Knuckle Sandwiches.” Every night this week I’ve received a hot meal! Unbelievable! And since Moshiach . . . I mean, Safta, is here, the children are BEHAVING! And it’s not just because it’s my mother-in-law.

A couple of months ago, my wife’s friend needed a day off since her husband had to go to the States for three weeks, leaving her with four children. She came here for only 20 hours, and even during that time, I had a hot meal, didn’t have to sit with everybody (since I didn’t exist), didn’t do bedtime, and the children behaved wonderfully.

I’m telling you, two “wives” can really enhance a person’s lifestyle . . . Of course, only if you keep the credit cards out of their hands . . .

Okay . . . on to Torah!
“Every son that is born you shall cast him into the Nile” (1:22)

At first, the Egyptians threw only threw only the Jewish boys into the Nile, but afterwards they obligated even the Egyptians to throw their sons into the Nile as well. This was caused by the fear that perhaps even an Egyptian male will bring the Jews out of Egypt, as Pharaoh was told by his astronomers.

It’s a rather difficult thing to imagine that an entire nation would actually obey such a directive. However, we still have eye-witnesses alive who can remember Germany doing the exact same thing seventy years ago.

Rav Shach explains that this mentality stems from a worldview that animals and humans are no different from each other. To hunt an animal or to hunt a human being . . . it’s all the same, since humans are mere animals after all!

When we forget the basic value of human life, that we were created in Hashem’s image, that we ARE the raison d’etre of the creation of this world, then we can descend into the lowest depths.

Our society, in many ways, has also reached such a stage, where human life has little meaning. Somebody once told me that when a new video game, known for its violence, came out, there was a long line of people waiting to buy it at a certain store. Out of nowhere, a person came, dressed as one of the characters, and stabbed to death one of the people in line. What was the reaction? Everybody clapped and cheered, thinking that this was all part of the act.

Just this week, in separate incidences, my wife and I were nearly hit by cars while crossing the street. In my case, I was on a one-way street with no crosswalk, and I had to cross my son and his friend. So, I went into the middle of the street and started waving the kids across. A car came down the road, gave a quick “honk” and, without slowing down a bit, continued driving toward me. Thankfully, I jumped out of the way on time. He didn’t even bother looking at me . . . just kept driving. My wife had a similar incident the next day when she was in a crosswalk with our daughter. A woman barely missed them, since she wanted to drive around them. And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people driving around with their children jumping in the car without seatbelts.

The list can go on.

The point is, when society believes that we are merely walking animals, and that our main point in life is to lead such a life, one must be extra careful and not be surprised by such attitudes. Most importantly though, is to make sure that this belief does not seep into our own world. And in today’s world of technology where we deal more with screens than with people, we must be extra vigilant to remember that other people are also created in G-d’s image.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Well… I for one am happy that I wasn’t in Jerusalem last week 

Winter really hit us, thankfully.

Now, we have sunny skies and freezing air. Each winter I’m reminded that the homes are built out of rock and not insulated, and that I’m just going to have to live with cold and high electric bills for the next several months.

However, I did learn that if you take a hot water bottle to bed with you, wrap your long underwear, undershirt, and socks with it, and sleep with it, you will find it easier to dress and get out of bed the next morning.

In honour of the cold, my wife was nice enough to buy personal blankets for everybody. Me included.

It was all nice until I unrolled my new blanket and saw the Friskie’s logo on it…

Glad I’m thought of so highly…

Okay, on to Torah!
“And the people believed…” (Shemos 4:31)

When Moshe first came to tell the nation that he was sent to redeem them, the Torah reports that they believed him. After leaving Egypt and the collapse of the Red Sea, the Torah again reports “and they believed in Hashem and in His servant Moshe”. From here, says Rav Asher Bergman, we learn that a person’s faith always needs to be revitalized.

There is an accepted custom to visit one’s rav and other great rabbanim (and/or rebbetzins for the ladies) during Pesach and Sukkos. I believe that one of the main reasons for this is to help strengthen oneself until the next time he visits.

I’m in touch with many of my rabbeim quite often, thankfully. I’m careful to keep in contact with one in particular. A few weeks ago, I was able to visit him for the first time in a year and a half at his home, and to speak to him concerning certain matters. While I have easy access to him via the phone, there is something different about sitting and talking in person. I’m sure whatever he said to me, had it been said over the phone, would have helped me; however, it certainly made a bigger mark in my soul when it was delivered in person.

The importance of having a rav in your life is great. I think most people that I know who are suffering from issues such as marriage problems, problems with children, problems with income, etc, are people who do not have a competent rav/rebbetzin to speak to and more importantly, to listen to. When a couple has somebody to turn to for questions and issues, they are showing that they are willing to listen to others, willing to work together, willing to annul their will for a greater cause, and more importantly, they are showing and strengthening their faith in Hashem and His Torah.

Have a great Shabbos!

I just made the mistake of asking Yoel the Grocer how he was doing.

When checking out, I asked, “HaKol B’Seder?” which loosely means, “How are you?” and literally means, “Is everything in order (b’seder)”.

He looked at me and said, “Of course it is! Is it possible that there is one moment in this world that is NOT b’seder (in order)? Only according to YOUR mind and YOUR plans, can you question if things are in order. But in the world of Hashem? OF COURSE everything is b’seder! He doesn’t make mistakes, He knows all that was, is, and going to be, and He has a plan for each and every one of us. So no matter what, everything is ALWAYS b’seder!

Who are the people in your neighborhood?...

Many times in life we are expecting or going through ‘great tests’ that will push us to our limits and, with success, help us propel upwards on the spiritual ladder. We focus so much on the ‘larger picture’ we sometimes slip and fall on the ‘smaller’ things. We say to ourselves, “How much will this sin really set me back? All in all, I will manage. True, a sin is destructive, but I will do teshuvah.”

Rav Shimshon Pincus discusses this attitude and explains that this thought that runs through a person’s head is really a rebellion against Hashem. A person with such thoughts goes through life thinking that ‘small’ moments here and there, don’t really matter to his overall plan in life. “Okay, so I waste this moment,” a person feels, “as long as in the end, I will get to where I want to go”.

The Rambam (Mishneh Torah, Hilchos Tshuva, Chapter 4) teaches us that this idea, is so foreign to Judaism, that it’s almost impossible to do teshuvah (repent) for.

Our avodah, our work, in this world, is not only about the final outcome, but it’s about the journey. It’s about using every moment available for us for growth.

How does such thinking affect our lives? We see an example that stems from this week’s parsha. When Moshe came to the Burning Bush, the Torah says “Moshe covered his face.” (Shemos 3:6). We also see Moshe’s reluctance to work as Hashem’s messenger. Later, when in the desert, Moshe asks Hashem, “Please show me Your Glory”, and Hashem replied, “You cannot see My face”. The Yalkut Shemoni explains Hashem’s reply as follows: “Hashem said to Moshe: When I wanted, you didn’t want. Now that you want, I don’t want”.

“Sometimes,” says Rav Pincus, “a person doesn’t feel so much like learning, and he slacks off, figuring he’ll make it up later. Eventually, he decides he wants to get back into learning with energy once again. But at that point, who knows if a Heavenly voice might not declare, ‘When I wanted, you didn’t want. Now that you want… you will have to wait a little’.

We should try, as much as our energy allows us, to utilize every moment properly. We should not focus on the ‘big picture’, but rather focus on the small things, the ‘small’ opportunities that come our way to test us. A small test could ultimately lead to great rewards.

Have a great Shabbos!

How can people not live here?

The mikvah is a 20 minute walk from my house. Every erev Shabbos, I go to the store, which is half-way there, buy what I need for Shabbos, leave my cart, go to the mikvah, come back, pick up my cart, and walk back home.

Nearly every week, I meet the same person at the mikvah. Very sweet guy. Your stereotypical “working man sfardi”. Very nice, very friendly, very spiritual, yet you know, deep down inside, he probably knows enough kabala to turn you into a frog if you cross him. Every Thursday night, around 1am, he drives to Meron to learn until davening. After davening, he comes back, heads to the mikvah, and gets ready for Shabbos. He’s a great example on what a person should focus on in life.

As I was leaving the mikvah, he was coming in. I guess he was running a little late. He looked at me, handed over the keys to his car and said, “It’s raining out here. Go in the car, there are sfarim in the door, learn, and wait for me, and I’ll take you back right after”.

“Who is like you O’ Israel?”

“And they cried out” (Shemos 2:23)

Rav Meir Shapiro, the Rosh Yeshiva of Lublin yeshiva was renowned for his davening. He was once asked by one of his students, “If you spend so much time praying, doesn’t that affect the amount of time you are able to learn?”

Rav Shapiro replied, in the name of the Chasam Sofer, that if a person prays at length, his life is lengthened; and therefore if a person spends additional time praying, he is compensated for that time with the additional time he is given to live.

That is how Rav Shapiro viewed davening.

After several years, the level of the davening in the yeshiva decreased dramatically. People started to come late and leave early, there was walking around, some started to talk to others during that time, etc… In response, Rav Shapiro formed a committee consisting of some of the best students, to make new regulations intended to improve the situation.

They composed and circulated a strong-worded proclamation concerning this deterioration. Along with this, they made the following new rules that if not followed, would result in punishment:

1. The doors of the beis medresh/shul would be closed from the beginning of davening until after the end of davening
2. Every student in the yeshiva has to stand in his assigned place and not walk around during prayer.
3. Learning or looking in other books was prohibited during prayer.
4. Whoever was unable, for whatever reason, to attend the prayer services in the yeshiva had to receive prior permission from the committee.

THIS is how important proper davening is!

Can you imagine what would happen if your local shul made the above rules? Can you imagine that outcry against them? This is how far we have fallen in this realm.

Davening is one of the pillars of our relationship with Hashem. If you had to meet with somebody who was willing to give you a million dollars, would you be late to the meeting? Would you dress improperly? Would you speak to other people during this meeting? So how can we do such things when we’re speaking to the King of Kings?

May we use our davening opportunities this Shabbos as best as we can, showing up on time, not talking, davening clearly, and with as much concentration as possible.

Have a great Shabbos!

A few weeks ago, I came home from shul after Shabbos to find my family sitting in the living room staring at the ceiling. Following their gaze, I saw a cockroach sitting there.

The Israeli Cockroach is something to behold. They are virtually indestructible, with the ability to grab small children and pull them down the sink drain to their evil lair.

While my wife froze, Chaim yelled: "Chaim get hammer!"

THIS is a warrior! Even though the girls outnumber the boys 3:2, with Chain’s testosterone level, the ration is 3:6.

We should have named him Chaim "Patton" Winner.

Thought the pink pajamas with flowers on them that he is currently wearing, probably wouldn't help the image.

Okay, on to Torah!
"Do not come closer to here, remove your shows from your feet, for the place upon which you stand is holy ground" (Shemos 3:5)

A friend in yeshiva told me a nice piece on this pasuk in the name of the Chofetz Chaim.

Often time, people complain about their lot in life. They say things like, "If I had the mind of so-and-so" or "If I were born to such a family" or "If I had more money". With these excuses, they pardon themselves mentally from growing spiritually.

The Chofetz Chaim uses this pasuk to teach us differently.

"The place upon which you stand is holy". What is that place? The place in which Hashem put you. The place that which you are currently standing. THAT place is holy. Hashem put you in that specific situation because FOR YOU, it is holy, since it is your holy mission to make do with the tools you were given and to grow with them.

A person who was born rich, for example, might not have the spiritual mission to work on his emunah, while instead that might be the mission of the poor person. And if the poor person were to be born rich? It might be a setup for failure in his spiritual mission!

Each individual was put on earth with their specific spiritual goals. Included with these goals, are tools for that person to use, whether it be in the realm of health, wealth, family, children, IQ, etc...

Don't think you know what's best for you and that you know what tools you need. Hashem knows your goal and will give you the appropriate tools.

Sit back, be happy with what you have, WORK with what you have, and hopefully after 120 years, you'll return with a Mission Accomplished.

Have a great Shabbos!