Yisro

I had to take one of my children to the hospital in Tel Aviv the other day, for a certain type of test they only do there.  Six hours of travel, one and a half hours of standing and waiting at the hospital, and literally, three minutes of the actual test (yes, thankfully, all is good).  As many might know, Tel Aviv is often looked at as a "nation within a nation."  It represents all that is liberal in politics and not-so-friendly towards the Torah.  Obviously, there are plenty of religious who live and work there, and you don't get heckled on the streets or anything, but much of liberal Israel resides in that area.

When it was my turn to hand in my papers at the registration desk, the woman asked me a question about the test and why we needed it.  I answered her, "Honestly, my wife took care of the details, I'm just the mule who brings the kids where they need to go."  To which she yelled at me, "YOU ARE NOT A MULE! YOU'RE DOING A GREAT MITZVAH TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN! A VERY GREAT MITZVAH!"  I was rather (pleasantly) shocked to receive such a slap on the wrist.

Forty-five minutes later, I'm standing in line speaking to a non-religious woman ahead of me.  She was telling me about her dog and why dogs are great and cats are useless, egocentric animals (which is all completely true), and she mentions how hers sits during kiddush and havdalah on Shabbos.  Whether she keeps Shabbos fully or partially, I have no idea.  But, here in Israel, you really never know who you're talking to until you talk to them.

"So Hashem said to him, “Go down, and come back together with Aaron; but let not the priests or the people break through to come up to Hashem, lest [Hashem] break out against them" (Shemos 19: 24).

On this, Rashi writes, "All of them are with you. This teaches that you, yourself, ascend. Say from now on, you are for yourself, Aaron is for himself, and the priests are for themselves. Moses was more approachable than Aaron, and Aaron more than the priests. But fundamentally, let not the people undermine their status to rise to God."

Rav Shimshon Pincus asks: Shorly before this, Rashi explains that the entire nation was like "One man and One heart."  Yet here we find that Hashem is dividing people up: Moshe is here, Aaron is here, the Kohanim are here…  How could we be "one man and one heart" and yet at the same time we see a ranking system?

Once in a while I enjoy listening to Rav Breitowitz.  He has a question and answer session in Yeshivas Ohr Somyach, and it's interesting to hear all sorts of questions, and amazing to hear how he uses his wide breadth of knowledge to answer them.

In this past week, somebody asked about joining the army, especially in light of the current situation, and whether it is more important to sit and learn or more important to go and fight.  Rav Breitowitz gave a very nice answer, explaining that there are two "schools of thought" on this.  One, the Religious Zionists, promote the idea of combining learning and army service, and the other, the "Ultra-Orthodox" promote the idea that (during a time where there is no lack of man-power), it is better to work on the spiritual war to provide merit in the physical.  It should be noted, however, that the Religious Zionist model, does not disagree with the concept of spiritual merit helping the physical war.  That is why you will find plenty of religious soldiers on the front encouraging those "behind the lines" to strengthen themselves in Torah and Mitzvos.

After explaining both sides, he said that a person needs to make a decision based on an accurate assessment of himself and with speaking with his spiritual mentors.

Then he added something interesting.  He pointed out that many people at this time who are not serving in the war, can suffer a form of "survivor's guilt."  When you are living in Israel, it's hard not to notice that there is a war going on.  Even when I was in Tel Aviv the other day, we saw a medevac bringing in seriously wounded soldiers to the hospital.  It's hard not to notice that people are sacrificing themselves in defense of the Jewish people, while you … are not.  And even if you are sitting in learning, you still have this "survivor's guilt" that you are not sacrificing yourself in such a way as those soldiers are, and therefore, you start to doubt what you are doing is proper and right.

He warned that any decision cannot be made based on this, since this is clearly the Yetzer Horah at work.  Every person needs to know where his strengths and weaknesses are, and with that knowledge in his grasp, he can better ascertain what he should be doing.

Rav Pincus answered the above question, citing the Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva, where the Rambam famously writes that everybody has the ability to be like Moshe.  The equally famous question and answer is: "How can we possibly be like Moshe?" and we answer, "It doesn't mean like Moshe himself, but just as Moshe reached his potential, so too can everybody reach their own potential."

With this, we can understand, how the entire nation can be "one man and one heart," yet at the same time, every person can have their own special place and level.

When each person within the nation uses their talents at 100 percent of their capabilities, then each person is standing at their own level, and at the same time together, as one.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful and quiet Shabbos.

Sometimes you see a bit of yourselves in your children and it's really funny.

The whole World Cup took Israel by storm and this time around even boys in the frum world were swept up with it.  Being that, my second and fourth grade boys wanted to dress up like soccer players for Purim this year along with one of their friends.  I personally don't care.  Let them have their fun now, since it's not going to stick when they grow up.

Unfortunately, when one of the parents heard such a thing, she said she was going to ask the school because "it doesn't seem proper." Which, of course, will trigger the school to say that it's not allowed, for that reason (why does Metallica's "Holier Than Thou" come to my head now?).

My middle son heard my wife ask me, "and how is that worse than a policeman, soldier, or Arab?"  And he (a very well-behaved kid) responded, "If they don't allow it because it's not 'Torah-dik', fine.  'Kol Sasson v'Kol Simcha' (a play on his name).  I'll dress up as a bride and go to school like THAT!  That's something in the Torah.  They can't complain about THAT!"  It was really surprising coming from him.  And something I would have certainly said, and quite possibly have done at his age.

"And you shall not covet" (Shemos 20: 14).

There's a famous question on this particular commandment.  A desire to have something that somebody else has and that you do not, is part of human nature.  It's something that does not seem possible to quelch, since it's an emotional reaction, rather than a physical one.  While the Torah commands us not to kill, we can understand how it's a commandment on us: Even though a person might have such a desire, he can control himself and not carry it through.  However, how can the Torah demand of us not to DESIRE?  Taking action because of that desire, I understand, but the desire itself?  Obviously, if the Torah commands it, there must be a way to control it.

The Even Ezra explains that this is comparable to a simple townsman who has no desire to marry the regional princess, simply because he knows that there is no chance in the world that someone like her would marry someone like him.  Since it's a non-starter from the beginning, there is no desire.  This explains why we might not get jealous of the rich and famous, since we have no connection to that world, but we will get jealous of our friends who happen to have magical income, while we are lucky to have magical sleep, because of the non-magical income.  We live in the same world, so we ask ourselves, why don't we have what they have?  Anybody living with Europeans nearby can understand that.

And to this we see a hint of how to handle desire.  With a constant reminder that I have my world and he has his world and she has her world.  Each one has their own world with Hashem and one world has nothing to do with the other.  It's not so easy to internalize, but it's possible.

The Beis HaLevi writes on this subject that just as when a person is in a time of danger, he has no desires other than that to survive; the command itself, certainly being part of "The Big 10," should instill enough fear in the person that he will naturally feel all such desires fall away.

Personally, the Even Ezra speaks to me a little more.  However, we see at least two ways of understanding the commandment, and our ability to fulfill that commandment, of removing desire from our lives.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

I came home today from the kollel with interesting news.  My three middle kids received an invitation to Yerushaliyim for Shabbos!  That leaves us with my 16 year-old daughter, 6 year-old son, and soon-to-be six month-old smooshball.

My daughter is down with Covid, and over the past three weeks, I, my wife, my son, and my other daughter have all been down, one after another.  So, this should be a nice break having the house emptied out for two days.

It'll be very quiet... and hopefully, very relaxing.

A few years ago, an American rabbi, who was a high-school teacher in America, decided to join the political party called Meretz.  For those who are not familiar with Meretz, they are a left-wing party that is quite openly anti-Torah.  We're not talking about a Labor party, which is also left-wing, we're taking about a party whose raison d'etre is to attack Torah institutions.  So, it's no surprise that this caused a bit of an uproar.  Here you have a high-school teacher thinking he knows what's best for the Jewish nation, and joins the enemy to "help us out."

One of his reasonings for supporting cutting funding to yeshivos was a famous dictum: "A thousand students enter the Bais Medrash and only one goes out to hora’ah” (to become a Torah authority).  So, in his eyes, only the brightest and the best should be allowed to continue yeshiva studies long-term, and the rest of us should not be given such a chance.  After all, since we're bound to "fail," we're not worth the money spent.

This week's parsha discusses this idea a bit.  We see at the beginning of the parsha that Moshe was single-handedly dealing with all cases and teaching Torah to the masses.  Yisro, his father-in-law, saw this and told him that he will wear himself down and wear the people down.  He needs to find "leaders of thousands, leaders of hundreds, and leaders of tens…" and anything which is too difficult for each leader to handle, he will send it "up" to the higher leader.

While it's true not everybody is destined to be the leader of the Jewish people, or even leaders of large communities, each person CAN be a leader on some level.  Of course, in order to do so, he needs to educate himself as much as possible.

There is somebody here with whom I am friendly.  Wonderful person.  He does not exactly fit the standard Israeli "ultra-Orthodox" way of life.  After yeshiva and a little kollel, he did his army service as a "kashrus rav," keeping his eye on the kitchens of a few nearby bases.  After a while, he left and became an independent mortgage broker.  Around a month ago, he was asked to start a Daf Yomi class (one page of Gemara each and every day).  When is this class going to take place? Simple!  Before the "neitz" minyan--the minyan that starts every morning 30 minutes before sunrise.  So, before THAT, he will be giving this class.  I personally think he and his cohorts are nuts, but that's just me.

So, here you have somebody who is not considered a talmid chacham, who works full-time, being a "leader of tens."  Sure, it's not as "glamorous" as the leader of hundreds or the leader of thousands, but let's be honest, how many of us can make sure we learn, prepare, and understand a page of Gemara each and every day, without any breaks, and know it well enough to deliver a class at any time between 4-5 a.m., while holding down a full-time job?  Perhaps, it's not glamorous in this world, but in the next world?  Such a thing is priceless.

We can go even "more simple" than that.  What about parents?  They too are leaders.  In most cases, they are not leaders of "tens" (though after grandchildren, who knows), but they are certainly leaders.  They are solely responsible for the future of their children, and ultimately, their children's children.

So, while most of us will not be the future leaders of "thousands," we certainly have the opportunity to be the leaders of the Jewish people, each according to their level.  And the more we learn and the more we improve ourselves, with Hashem's help, the more successful we are bound to be.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Sigh… this will be the first time in around 13 years that I will be unable to attend my matza baking. 

Originally, there was going to be a rule that only people who have been vaccinated or had Corona could go.  Then they changed it.  I’m due for my second vaccination shot the day before, so, technically, I could go, even though I wouldn’t be fully “covered” for another week.  However, my wife will only be on her first, and to put myself in a small bakery in Jerusalem right now, just for matzos… just not worth it.  I know of too many sick or dead.

May this be the worst of my problems.

“Then you will be able to endure…” (Shemos 18:23).

When Rav Yaakov Galinsky was in prison in Siberia, he noticed that one of the prisoners in a nearby cell would wake up in the middle of the night, put on clothes that he hid underneath his bed, gaze at himself in the mirror, and quickly redress, hide his clothes and go to back to sleep.

One morning, when Rav Galinksy was alone with this man, he asked him about this strange behavior.  At first, the man denied everything.  Finally, after some pressing, he explained, “I used to be a general in the Polish army.  The Ukrainians, of course, are sworn enemies of the Poles, and the higher ranking a Polish person was, the more he is disgraced and humiliated here by the Ukrainians.

“The entire day, I am subjected to terrible humiliation. At night, therefore, when no one sees me, I don an old army uniform that I managed to sneak into Siberia, to remind myself of who I really am.  I wear this uniform for a minute or two, and I look in the mirror and tell myself that no matter how much they try to humiliate me here, I am still a great general, with thousands of soldiers under me. This gives me encouragement, even though it’s an illusion, because now I’m in Siberia and I am longer a general.  But just the fact that I am able to return briefly to my old persona offers me encouragement, and gives me the strength to survive the next day.”

This is an important story and concept to remember.  One two levels, dealing with external and internal doubts and worries.

Where I live, somebody in a black hat and jacket is very much in the minority.  Even somebody with a kippa is a minority.  Especially where I live … being Jewish is a majority, but we have, ironically, a lot of Ukrainians and Russians who are not Jewish.  So, sometimes you walk around and feel like you’re sticking out quite a bit.  But it’s good to remind yourself: Here in Israel … this is MY land.  MY people have been here for thousands of years.  The growth of the country, contrary to popular opinion, is not because of the army or the tech industry of Tel Aviv.  The Torah states clearly that it’s Torah and Mitzvos that do it.  And I’m thankful to be part of that minority that is doing their “patriotic duty,” however much it is despised by others.

Also regarding internal battles.  Like any good soldier, a general will win, and lose, many battles.  But even after several losses, a general is still a general, and can still pick himself up and push ahead.  The Union, during the Civil War, saw generals being replaced all the time.  Why?  Because every time they lost, they pulled back and argued that the enemy was too strong for them.  Finally, Grant came to the stage and had a different opinion.  He pushed farther and farther into the South.  And many of the battles that he fought he lost, or fought until a stalemate, but he kept on pushing.  He knew that he was in charge and he was going to win.

We too need to have that attitude.  Yes, there will be times that we lose, sometimes we’ll have several, back-to-back losses, but if we remind ourselves that WE are in charge and we WILL win, we can continue to push forward.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

“You shall not steal” (Shemos 20:13). 

Rav Aryeh Levin once told over a certain story that occurred in his day.

Every day a certain rav would daven mincha at his shul.  The chazon would wait for the rav to finish his Shemoneh Esrei, which usually took around 8 minutes, before he would start his repetition.  But, on one particular day, this rav was davening longer than usual.  In fact, in the middle of his davening, he signaled the chazon to begin without him.  Even when mincha ended, the rav was still davening.  In fact, his davening went on for several hours, and only close to sunset, did he finish.

Later, the rav explained what happened.  Before mincha, the rav was part of a beis din dealing with a complicated divorce case that was going on for several months.  Finally, everything was ready and the get was ready to be signed.  Just then, the rav noticed one of the witnesses writing something on a paper that was clearly from the “Anglo-Palestine Bank."  Being that such papers in those times, were worth something and not given out for public use, the rav was concerned that this witness stole it from the bank.

He immediately called the beis din to recess, explaining that he needed to daven mincha.  And he kept "davening," until sunset, when one cannot write a get, hence postponing the get writing until the next day.  The next day, he found proof that this witness was not kosher and was able to find a new, kosher set of witnesses, hence allowing the get to be kosher.

Unfortunately, certain "minor" sins regarding money, such as stealing things worth very little, or not paying workers on time, are common.   People either don’t think about it, or find excuses for their behavior.  However, according to halacha, people who steal a pen have the same status of somebody who steals a car, and cannot be considered a kosher witness!

Hence we see the importance of trying our best to have some knowledge of what is and what is not considered stealing, and making sure that we are not guilty of ANY of it, as much as possible.

Have a great Shabbos!

After 14 years together, our refrigerator finally passed away.  Which means, this year, every one of our kitchen appliances, which were also 14 years old, died and were replaced.  What made replacing the refrigerator special was, I actually had to research and buy a Kosher Refrigerator, with a real Kosher Seal of Approval.  Due to advances in technology, even using the refrigerator nowadays can cause issues on Shabbos.  With the old fridge, I simply had to disconnect the light that goes on when you open the door.  But, with all the sensors and whatnot, opening a fridge door causes a lot more issues.  So, our new fridge, besides being bigger, now has a special Shabbos mode to it, which I have to turn on before Shabbos or Yom Tov.  One setting lasts for 40 hours and one for 80 hours.  It’s amazing how something as simple as a fridge can cause so much trouble.

I found a talk given by the Moshgiach of Toras Simcha, Rav Zisha Salomon, on this week’s parsha.

When Moshe’s father-in-law, Yisro, comes to the camp of the Jewish people, he stays a bit, gives some advice, and heads back to his home in Midian.  The Midrash relates part of the conversation that took place between Moshe and Yisro.  Moshe wanted him to stay, and Yisro felt it was better for him to leave.  Yisro said to Moshe, “You are like the sun and Aharon is like the moon.  Me?  I’m but a mere candle.  What can I do here?  It would be better for me to go back to Midian, which is a darkened room, and at least there I can give off a little light and do something good."  Moshe didn’t seem to agree with this.

I think the following is his personal insight into the Midrash, rather something he saw somewhere.

What exactly is the argument between them?  Yisro figured, “Who am I?  I’m an old man; I’m starting late in the game; I’m a mere candle.  What can I add to the sun and the moon?  I’ll go back to the place of darkness and at least there I can do some good."  Moshe disagreed.  He said, “You have no idea what your potential is!  Yes, you’re a candle, but that’s right now!  If you stay and learn here in a place that is lit up in holiness, who knows what you can make of yourself!  It’s not too late!”

This, says Rav Salomon, is the pit that so many people fall into after yeshiva, whether they are in the working world or in the kollel.  He asked, “What’s the difference between a yeshiva bochur and an avreich?  The bochur is young and single and thinks every year, ‘I’m learning how to learn, I’m learning how to learn,' and therefore everything is exciting for him.  It’s new.  His goal right now is to ‘learn how to learn.' Then after a few years in kollel, what does the avreich think? ‘What have I really accomplished?  Nothing much…,' and he ends up giving up on himself.  And what of the working person?  He spends most of his day, heavily involved in the non-Jewish world, busy with non-Torah things.  He’s holding on to what little he can do in terms of davening and learning”.

Both people need to change their mentality.  They both need to look at the world through the eyes of a young bachur.  He needs to look at the world as if it’s an opportunity to ‘learn how to learn,' and opportunity of growth.  The avreich needs to know that accomplishment isn’t the main thing, but growing in learning and mitzvos is.  The working man needs to know that everything he does, even if it’s not inherently a “Torah thing," can be used for growth and done for the sake of Torah.

Dovid HaMelech knew that he was going to die on Shabbos.  So what did he do?  Every Shabbos he busied himself solely in Torah so the Angel of Death would have no power over him.  Finally, the Angel of Death, getting a bit fed up on being pushed off, caused a tree to shake violently, which caught Dovid HaMelech’s attention, and at that point when he was not involved in Torah, he took his neshama.

Rav Salomon asked, “What?  He learned the whole day? He didn’t eat any Shabbos meals? He didn’t use the washroom?  Of course he did!  But everything he did, he did as a mitzvah and with the intention of fulfilling the Torah.  His eating was Torah.  His using the washroom was Torah.  His looking at a shaking tree?  That wasn’t Torah.  It’s a very high level that we have no connection to, but it’s something we need to know and understand."

So, in the end, we need to constantly be like a young yeshiva bochur.  We need to always be growing and looking for opportunities to grow.  One should never allow himself to get spiritually stale.  And most importantly, never give up on ourselves thinking that it’s simply too late.

Have a great Shabbos!

As most (healthy) fathers know, sometimes (like most of the time) one has a need to seriously beat their children for being . . . well . . . children.  Especially boys and teenage girls.

I had that feeling this morning after coming home from davening since there was “something in the air.”  Of course, you can’t exactly hit your children (because that leaves marks) and you can’t just yell at them (because that leaves marks), but, as a man, you need to do SOMETHING violent.

So, I found the perfect solution:  Yell at them all with a Scottish accent!

Not only can you insult them at whim, like calling them a “useless sack of meat," but you can give them practical advice on what to take to school for lunch, like “catching a cat, and ripping out its guts, and dip it in ketchup!”  And, if you don’t have anything of intelligence to say, you can tell them that “I don’t want to see you wee-woping, no good yellow-belly, stomp-catcher again!”  They have no idea what you said, you have no idea what you said, they laugh, and you feel better getting it all out of your system.

Just make sure to turn off the switch when they leave the house, so you don’t end up calling your wife a “useless sack of meat.”

It’s very important to remember that part.

Very.

Trust me.

The Gemara (Shabbos 88a) explains that Hashem held Mt. Sinai over the heads of Jewish people and warned them that if they did not accept the Torah, then this would be their grave.  On the other hand, the nation previously stated, “We will do and we will hear” (Shemos 24:7).  If they already accepted the Torah, what was the need for Hashem to threaten them?

The Midrash asks and answers this question.  When they said, “We will do and we will hear,” that was in regard to the Written Torah.  However, in regard to the Oral Torah, they needed a little . . . persuasion.

Why was there such hesitancy to accept the Oral Torah?  Because, unlike the Written Torah, a person must toil and suffer to understand it well.  The Written Torah is there.  You can sit down and read it, but to truly excel in the Oral Torah, one needs to be focused and demanding on himself.

A young man in yeshiva once complained to Rav Shach about his inability to do well in the yeshivah.  Rav Shach answered the following:

“Suppose that a man sees that a handsome profit is to be had in another country.  Once he resolves to go, nothing can dissuade him.  It does not matter to him whether the way is easy or difficult, whether he travels first class or third or whether the accommodations along the way are comfortable or not.  All that matters is that he should arrive at his destination, so that he can conduct his business.

“By contrast, if he is going on a vacation, the conditions are very important to him indeed.  If he hears, for example, that the ride is unpleasant and that he must walk part of the way, or that  the accommodations are inferior and the provisions scant, he will undoubtedly cancel the trip.

“Similarly, a person in yeshivah whose goal is to grow in Torah pays no mind to the conditions around him.  His gaze is focused entirely on his goal.  By contrast, one who comes to yeshivah looking for a vacation notices every detail – Does he have a set with a view?  Is it on the sunny side? And so on.  For such a person, every difficulty spoils his mood and causes him to have thoughts of leaving.”

I once heard a talk given by a Navy SEAL, regarding the training that he went through in order to be accepted as a trainee.  It’s not easy to say the least.  They are given very little sleep, a lot of physical and mental challenges, and throughout the whole time, they are given incentives (read: distractions) to drop out.  His description and stories of what they went through to become SEALs was mind-boggling.  But, he said, what kept them going was the goal. They WANTED to be SEALs and no matter what, they were GOING to be SEALs.

One’s spiritual ambitions should be treated no differently.  You have a goal?  Focus on it, don’t get distracted, and GET IT.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

p.s. Next week, there will be no dvar Torah.  It’s going to be a very busy week, and on Thursday/Friday, I will be in Yerushaliyim making matzos (Thursday night baking . . . they couldn’t have planned it any worse for a guy living in the North).

I’ve been learning Megiallas Esther, for obvious reasons, and I came to an interesting Rashi that I never gave thought to.  When presenting his case against the Jewish people, Haman said that they had two big negatives going against them: 1) They don’t pay taxes, and 2) They don’t do ‘the King’s work.

What are the complaints that the left has against the religious here in Israel?  They don’t pay taxes and they don’t go into the army.

An interesting thought . . .

Rashi informs us that Moshe would go up to the mountain at dawn, as it states:

“And Moshe arose early in the morning” (Shemos 34:4)

When Rav Shach was a Rosh Yeshivah in Petach Tikvah, he would stay by one of the local residents throughout the week and return to his home in Jerusalem for Shabbos.  When he heard that his host would wake up a 4 a.m. to go to work, he asked to be woken at the same time.

The host was astounded and replied, “But the yeshivah schedule does not require that the Rosh Yeshivah arise so early, and in any event you go to bed so late!”

To which Rav Shach replied that it is inconceivable that a working man should arise earlier than a Torah scholar.  If a working man wakes up at 4 a.m. to do his work, certainly a scholar should wake up at 4 a.m. to do HIS work.

It is common knowledge that how you start your day helps form how the day will continue.   A person who slips out of bed late and slowly gets his way to the shul and somehow catches part of a minyan for davening, will most likely not have a very productive spiritual (or physical) day.

Rav Yaakov Leonard once said to his yeshivah, right before everybody left for Pesach break, that they should go and relax and "recuperate."  However, he asked that everybody continue to go to an early minyan, even if he would come straight home and take a nap.  At least, he said, a person should start off the day on the right foot.

We should also try our best, whether we are working or learning (or both) full-time, to get to an earlier minyan, rather than a later one, and to start off our day properly.

Have a great Shabbos!

 
Michael Winner

A friend of mine had a baby boy this week (the first boy after four girls . . . good . . .can’t wait to see him suffer now), and unfortunately the baby was born with a defect. They are not sure what the situation is in terms of long-term affects mentally or physically, so if we can all daven for Tinok ben Yael that this defect should end up posing no issues at all.
“And Moshe went up to G-d” (Shemos 34:4)

“And Moshe arose early in the morning” (Rashi)

My friend's (mentioned above) father-in-law came for Shabbos to help out with the family. I happen to know him, since not only am I friends with his son-in-law, but I also shared a room in yeshiva with his son. By trade, he’s a dentist. I happen to know that on the side, he earned smicha (rabbinic ordination), which probably nobody knows about. If you saw him, you wouldn’t think much, he’s rather unassuming.

As I was walking out of davening this morning, I complained to him about the chutzpah that his children had: having a boy. Because of that I will have to leave my house Shabbos night, when I’m already exhausted just to go to the Shalom Zachor (let’s just describe it as a mini-“Kiddush” held Shabbos night after a boy is born). Usually I don’t go to them, since I’m too physically exhausted. He agreed with me and said how at home, he and his wife always eat alone and never go out Shabbos night. He described his night as, “I fall asleep in my chair at 7:30 p.m., wake up, go to bed, wake about around 3 a.m., make coffee and sit and learn in peace and quiet until davening.”

He’s a dentist by the way. Did I mention that? But that’s not his main calling in life. His goal is to be a proper “servant of Hashem.” He does that by waking up every morning nice and early to start his day properly, even earlier on Shabbos, when most people do the opposite!

Avraham rose early in the morning, Moshe rose early in the morning, and the Dentist rose early in the morning . . .

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Over the past week or so, my nine-year-old daughter has been spending a large amount of time on the phone. Yes, I know . . . girls at this age do these things. But suddenly there was a dramatic increase in faxes that she was receiving on our machine (fax = Israeli Chareidi Email). It turns out that my daughter recently became one of three teachers in her class, and is “very busy” communicating with the principal and the other teachers . . .

Yeah . . .

It seems that the whole class of 24 girls, during their two break periods, play “school.” There is one principal, one secretary, three teachers, and the rest are students (I think). The principal made an official schedule, and every break, the “teachers” “teach.” Next week, they have parent-teacher conferences. Where each student has to take home a note announcing it, and they in turn will sign it as “parents,” and will have to meet with their teacher as their own “parents.”

It gets confusing, I know. However, my wife reminded me that, thank G-d, unlike their non-religious counterparts here who are staring at iPhones all day, they are doing something wholesome.
“Yisro, the priest of Midian, the father-in-law of Moshe, heard all that G-d did to Moshe and to Israel . . .” (Shemos 18:1)

Rashi comments that he heard about the splitting of the Red Sea and the war with Amalek. And because of this, he came to the Jewish people to join them.

An interesting question is raised. A few lines later, the Torah reports, “Moshe told his father-in law everything that Hashem had done to Pharaoh and Egypt for Israelis sake . . . Yisro rejoiced over all the goodness that Hashem had done for Israel . . .”

We see from the first pasuk, that Yisro already knew about all that Hashem did. It impressed him so much, that he left his home to join the Jewish people in the desert. What was the new thing that Moshe told him that impressed him that he should rejoice, seemingly, for a second time?

Rav Asher Rubenstein said over once in one of his weekly talks that Yisro did NOT hear anything new from Moshe. In fact, he heard the exact same thing he heard beforehand. However, Yisro did something that most of us find difficult to do: “Yisro HEARD.”

The parsha in which the Torah is given starts with Yisro’s HEARING. Before any acceptance of Torah, once must be willing to HEAR Hashem’s word.

The Torah is not some intellectual study. It is something that one is to take and bring into his heart. One of the greatest proofs of this is the final test Avraham had regarding bringing Yitzchok as a sacrifice. He was promised by Hashem Himself that his children will grow to be great and numerous, and now Hashem is telling him to sacrifice his only son (with Sarah). He could have easily, and respectively, asked, “Wait… didn’t You tell me that I will have descendants through Yitzchok?” He had a very good question he could have asked, however, he pushed that down and listened to Hashem.

Hashem has given us intellect to use. However, that intellect is to be used to serve G-d, and not ourselves.

We are servants to Hashem. A servant doesn’t use his intellect to decide whether or not to serve his master. Rather, he uses it to decide how best to serve his master. So, too, must we negate our intellect when it comes to “Is the Torah applicable to me?” and use it as “How can I best serve Hashem?”

First we must HEAR and LISTEN to Hashem, even if it goes against our intellect. We then can look into things and see how our intellect can understand what Hashem wants from us. But for us to first use our intellect to decide if we should or should not listen? That’s not what Yisro did.

The key to successful mussar (self-improvement) is not the “newness” of what you are learning. It is taking what you hear, over and over again, and placing it in one’s heart. Rav Asher found that there are some people who, when the rav speaks about self-improvement issues, quietly open up their books and continue learning what they were learning. Why? Because, what the rav is saying isn’t “intellectual enough” or “doesn’t apply to me.”

Again, this is not what the Torah wants from us.

The key to successful growth is first to HEAR. When one takes what he hears and pushes it into his heart, without petty excuses for why this or that might not apply to him, then he will continue to grow. If not, the Torah will remain a mere intellectual study and won’t leave a mark on his soul.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My client sent me an article this week which I found to be an eye-opener.

The author started out asking what you would do if you received an email from the CEO of Facebook saying that he wanted to meet with you to talk about your business. He said that most of us would write several drafts, going over every word, making sure it came out professional. It’s not what somebody who DID receive an email from the CEO of Facebook did. Instead, he replied with something like, "Sounds great. Call me next time you’re in town!" Immediately, it put this person on top and not on the bottom.

I found this to be a very useful idea and tool in life. When dealing with other people who might affect you mentally or emotionally, it might be best to adapt a “Mah Achpat Li?” (Hebrew: What do I care?) stance.

Recently, my wife received an email from somebody from one of her jobs. This particular office is full of people who have don’t have the greatest business etiquette. So, when somebody emailed her something trying to manipulate my wife into doing something she didn’t want to do under threat of them finding somebody else for the job, my wife simply responded: “Gr8!” and left it at that. It made her feel better about herself and she did not allow them to take control of her.

During World War II, the 101st Airborne Division was surrounded at Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge. They were nearly out of ammunition and food. They had no winter gear during one of the coldest winters experienced, and they could not even evacuate the wounded. The German commander sent over a message to General McAuliffe asking for their surrender instead of certain annihilation.

General McAuliffe replied:

To the German Commander.

NUTS!

The American Commander

The 101st held their ground and were a key in holding the German offensive… and were eventually rescued.

So, whether it be “Mah Achpat Li?,” “What do I care?,” or just plain “NUTS!” the more we emotionally remove other people from being on top of us, the more peace of mind we will have.

Okay, on to Torah!
The last of the Ten Commandments is “Do not be jealous” (Shemos 20:14).

The Ibn Ezra gives a suggestion on how to overcome this thought which is so difficult to bypass. He gives a comparison to a peasant who sees a beautiful princess. While he would certainly want to marry this princess, he doesn’t give any serious thought to it, since it’s completely out of his realm.

The Ibn Ezra continues and explains that this should be our mentality with everybody else’s possessions, talents, or their overall life. We need to constantly remind ourselves that Hashem gives out all of these things to individuals based on the needs of that particular individual. While wealth might be good in one person’s hand, it might not necessarily be good in yours. Hashem knows which is best for everybody, and as long as we realize that we have everything we need right now, we won’t have any feelings of jealousy for others.

The Midrash HaNe’elam states that “Do not be jealous” is the last mitzvah of the Ten Commandments, and because it’s the last mitzvah of the Torah in THIS world, it’s the first in importance in the next.

The Gemara (Shabbos 31a) states that the first question we will be asked after 120 years of life in this world is whether we dealt honestly in our business. Somebody who is overcome by jealously in this world, can easily fall prey to stealing, and losing out in the next.

May we all continue to have strength to see Hashem’s hand in our lives and to overcome this test.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My friend came up to me the other morning.

“Did you hear the fighter-planes last night?” he asked.

“Yeah, we were wondering what was going on”

“It seems that yesterday Syria tried to sneak some huge weapons cache into Lebanon without paying customs, and somehow, it magically blew up. Israel, of course, is officially not acknowledging or denying any involvement, and the United States is officially backing Israel in their decision (which Israel does not acknowledge or deny)”.

You have to love world politics.

Okay, on to Torah!
“You shall be to Me the most beloved treasure” (Bamidbar 19:5)

An army doctor once came to Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein with a question that was disturbing him. He told Rav Zilberstein that the army is planning on using photographs of dead and injured IDF soldiers as part of their media campaign to help bring some sympathy from the international stage. The IDF was hoping that if the world saw dead Israelis, instead of just dead Arabs, perhaps they won’t be so quick to condemn Israel.

While acknowledging the logic behind such a move, the doctor disagreed with the plan. He felt that it would not only lower moral of the army, seeing their comrades in such a situation, but also he felt it would cheapen the value of life in people’s eyes. Therefore, he came to consult with Rav Zilberstein on what he should do.

Rav Zilberstein answered that if, in principle, such a thing would work and would reduce anti-Semitism even one bit, then the photos should be used, since saving lives take priority. However, he concluded, “Anybody who thinks that these photos- no matter how shocking they may be- will have any influence whatsoever on the way the world treats the Jewish people is sorely mistaken”.

Time and time again, we see these words to be truthful. No matter what the situation is, how ludicrous it is, Israel, and the Jewish people in general will be blamed. Groups and individuals can do whatever they want to launch media campaigns in order to help Israel. But in the end, since the cause of our troubles are spiritual, such campaigns will not win the day. Just as in Purim, the cause of our troubles stemmed from our distance from Hashem, and our salvation came through teshuvah, so too will the end of this exile come only through teshuvah.

Have a great Shabbos!